Dear Children--

I sit here at the computer early in the a.m. while Silin and Daddy are sleeping.  It is so quiet, not a word that I could use to describe our last few days.  Its strikes me what an amazing father Yami is-- honestly, his intuition with Silin is remarkable-- he is the one who is helping her get to sleep (and its a little sad but the way she goes to sleep is by resting against Yami and cries in a grieving kind of way-- it becomes rhythmic and song-like, her breathing changes, and her body finally gives in and starts to melt into Yami-).  Yami figured out that that is what works best and even said something like "I know youre grieving sweetie, its Ok, you can grieve, I've got you."  What a daddy.

 

Yami is also very good at setting the limits with her-- if she is going to spit her milk then she is all done.  If she is going to throw her toys, then they are put away.  Firm but fair-- that's how I would describe him and honestly, I learn a lot from him.  I'm more of a softie and find it hard to make her upset but I know that I need to set up good habits for her right off the bat-- brushing teeth, she hates it but I do it anyway, changing her diaper, ditto, also yesterday we gave her a sponge bath and washed her hair with a washcloth -- we cannot put her in the tub yet, she is terrified but we held her in the bathroom and it worked pretty well -- she no longer smells like egg (the first day she came to us, she held a hard boiled egg in one hand and a wraped candy in the other-- she held on to them for dear life for most of that day)  We realize that in the orphanage she didnt' get food whenever she wanted so now she has access to food if she wants it all day long-- we leave out cheerios and raisins at all times-- she also still seems to like having food in each hand-- many days its steamed sweet paste buns from the breakfast buffet-- yesterday it was seitan from the vegetarian restaurant-- they seem to get dropped only when she falls asleep-- its pretty cute--

 

Dear children- what I know is how lucky you are to have a father like you do, how lucky I am to have the honor to have his love.  We couldn't love you more and I couldn't love him more.  I hope someday that you find someone who is as good to you as he is to me and that together, you and your spouse create a vision of a meaningful life, and strive each day towards that goal. Its easy to get lost in the mudane--things that need attention, that are urgent but not important (a concept of Steven Covey whose book I probably read 15 years ago and I'm not sure I remember anything else from it) but make sure you keep your sites set on that which matters most to you-- don't give away your days on that which in the big picture is insignificant. 

 

 

Another day here in Kunming, tomorrow is our last one here-  we are going siteseeing today so later I will try to post some photos--

 

Lots of love-- D

 

PS  Mom, if you are reading this, thank you for always telling me that the biggest gift for a child is a parent's love for the other parent.  I didn't understand it as a child and thought it was unfair that Dad was first but now I understand.  I wish Dad was here to see us bring home Silin-- he was always supportive even when he thought what I wanted was a little out there -- truth is, I feel his support even now, maybe even more than ever