Photos

 

----- Original Message -----

From: D R Baker

To: drubinbaker.gratefulbakers@blogspot.com

Sent: Tuesday, January 19, 2010 1:46 PM

Subject: Emailing: 2009-12-13 016, 2009-12-13 028, 2009-12-13 060

Someday I'll get back to blogging I'm sure!  For now, at least a few photos....

Chess Tournament Success

Both boys had fun (most importantly), Em had a win, and Z came in first overall.......a good day!

.

Fab Four

I got this today from Grandpa who titled it the Spongebob Fan Club--
That's funny b/c its true that the boys love Spongebob and would
watch it at any opportunity (they are so busy during the week they
hardly get a chance) but Silin......she has no interest in T.V. --
that said, here she is watching Spongebob for a second......is this
my future?

Fwd: My hand-knit balaclava

> For Hanukkah last night, I received a hand-knit balaclava made by
> Z. There is nothing like a hand-made gift from your child-- thank
> you Z! And how cool is it that a nine year old can knit a gift for
> his Mom-- well, I am grateful and proud-- the reason that he was so
> excited about Hanukkah last night was not about what he would get
> but what he would give -- my wish is to have many opportunities to
> feel the exact same way :)

Sibling time

I know that I haven't been writing much lately.  I know that there are sometimes times in my life where I write a lot and other times, not so much, and so I suppose this is one of the not so much times.  Part of the reason that I haven't been writing is time.....in fact, its most of the reason.  I just don't have enough time to do all that needs to get done and so the blog doesn't happen b/c I don't get to it.  I think I'm going to try to at least post photos weekly, well, soon, b/c what I need to describe now is Silin's unbelievably bad bang chop (done by Yami with the best of intentions w/o telling me while I was out).  I almost started to cry....actually I think I may have started when I walked in to see what he did.....I will put her in barettes, the hair will grow, I know, it will be OK.....but what I can't help but think is that people are going to think I did this to her!  Believe me, after my reaction, I can safely say this won't happen again and for that I am trying to be grateful....

 

Hanukkah has been fun....we played a trick on Isaiah and Emet, pretended to give them a CD, told them it worked on the Wii, then sent them downstairs to the basement (where we keep the Wii) for them to discover Beatles Rockband.  They screamed, knocked us over with hugs, and then when we put it on, they both feigned passing out.  It was really cute!

 

So, that's the update....I hope all is well in your neck of the woods and that your holiday season is filled with much love, hope, compassion for yourselves and others, and all that you wish for yourself...... 

 

 

Winter Fun/Hanukkah

 

Finally Photos

I have honestly been so busy that I haven't even had a chance to upload photos -- I have worked on a couple of blog posts but haven't posted them yet -- usually the blog posts I write take no more than 10 or 15 minutes to write but for some reason the ones I have been working on are more the "get clarity from writing" kind of posts that take me longer b/c its the process of writing that reveals what I really think about the thing that I'm writing about (instead of starting out with some thoughts and then just expounding on them). Anyway, what I really should say here is that after some harder days, today was an easier day...maybe b/c the big kids went to school and we are back to our routine. Yes, that is probably a big part of why I feel that way. No school and kids mean kid vacation days but it means I am really "on" those days (or at least I try to be) and it definitely more cooking, cleaning, and refereeing- Maybe its also b/c the kids got along very nicely b/f and after school today, because I got them to martial arts and swimming on time, and b/c I fed the kids dinner at the gym which means less cooking/clean up. Also impacting me was Silin's utterance of "night night" with a kiss on the lips to boot and a quick laying down to sleep.........sweet!

Update

(this was written last week but I forgot to post)

Well, what I've trying to do much of today is write a blog post about maximizing meaning. That is, I'm trying to remind myself of the big picture and to remember (or maybe convince myself) that the overwhelming amount of mundane tasks that I do all day each day serve a higher purpose. But currently that post is not ready for prime time and so I'll write about this instead....

Micah and Silin are becoming friends....

In a genuine way Micah and Silin are enjoying each other. Today it was ring around the rosy with Micah leading, team shape sorting with Micah identifying the slot and Silin pushing the shape in (she really still does not "get" the shape sorter -- I will talk to early intervention about this but it does concern me though just a little), Micah, Silin, and myself jumping and singing to a song that goes, "we're jumping, we're jumping, we're jumping....YEAH! (jump when you say "yeah"), Silin spontaneously going up to Micah to hug him and Micah liking it, and a long game with Silin in the lead of Silin running between the master bedroom and the boys' room with Emet's Webkin pet snake in tow and Micah following trying to keep up holding a plush Clifford. For a while Micah seemed pretty determined to not like Silin but clearly she's growing on him and that makes me happy. Honestly, I think when she catches up some, it will be even more fun for them. By nature, Silin seems very social and outgoing. Micah is pretty reserved. Somehow I think that Silin will help Micah to just relax and have fun, maybe even to be a little more social in ways that he might not otherwise be inclined. Those who are different from us can push us to explore the boundaries of our comfort zone and that's not always a bad thing (wink, wink, thanks Yami).....

The Shower Luxury

Part 1: I always know that I am in new kid mode when a shower becomes my biggest luxury. Its not that I couldn't take a shower with Silin home because I probably could (strategy...put lots of toys that she might want to play with in the bathroom, close my bedroom door, pray she'll be fine, then shower as fast as possible while trying to keep my extremely nearsighted eyes on her through foggy shower doors), its just that it feels easier to wait until she is in bed so that I can take my time and actually wash my body, my hair, use conditioner, and rinse thoroughly, i.e. take a long shower. At this moment, that is a luxury....

Part 2: Photos....I know that is what you are thinking....where are the photos? I promise....soon....Its just that I'm back to my Mac (oh, yes, hurray!) and the photos are on my netbook and I need to upload, etc. etc. .....excuses, excuses....I will post them soon!

Part 3: Silin is starting to repeat some English words: more, doggie, Elmo, kitty-meow, ball, beep beep, baby....she definitely understands many things as well like "go throw this in the trash", "go get your shoes" "let's go upstairs/downstairs".....Tomorrow we are off to the International Adoption clinic at Tufts to see the famous Dr. Miller.....I'll let you know how it goes.....

Part 4: I love my Mac (I think I said that already) but the battery on it sucks -- I think I've been on it for about 12 minutes and my battery is about to die....conclusion....I need a new battery for this laptop.....second conclusion.....I need to post this post mostly unedited and uncensored......here it goes.....

Table for Six

Last night was the first time we all went out to dinner as a family, the first time we asked for a table for six. We went to La Carretta, a Mexican restaurant that is about 25 minutes from our house. We've been there before with the boys several times and have our order down -- we order sides of rice, shrimp, beans, and tortillas for the boys (and now Silin too) and they have make-your-own burritos. Today they also all ate chips and salsa, honestly I never thought I'd see the day when Z would have salsa but he did, lots of it. Yami and I always have margaritas and some kind of seafood and rice dish. As a result of the margarita, when it came time for dessert, I couldn't resist and so we all shared some flan and fried ice cream....decadent for sure but no regrets here.....

Silin went on the swings the other day for the first time.....she really loved it and was all giggles and smiles (especially when she was in swinging sync with either M or Z). Today on the swing, she literally flailed her legs to try to go faster.....she is definitely not timid or reserved....she's feisty and lovely and lively....she is exactly as described in her paperwork and honestly, I feel so lucky to have been given the gift of parenting such a delightful kiddo. Also, I'm pleased to report that I think she is enjoying herself with us (though she probably wishes we lived somewhere warm as she is always quick to want to remove shoes, socks, and other clothes too if we'd let her....I think in Kaiyuan she probably didn't have to wear much much of the time.)

The other first is that I went back to the gym yesterday. Oh, how I miss the gym..... b/c obviously I wouldn't leave Silin with anyone besides Yami for a good long while, I'm only going to get to the gym on the weekends. During the week, walking outside is just going to have to do and in my hilly neighborhood a good 40 minute walk really does feel like exercise. That said, my body today was not able to do what it normally does....its amazing how fast we lose strength and flexibilty.....

Today, I took M and Silin to the playground. They spent a long time together on the tire swing and swinging in sync on the regular swings (taught by Z of this concept, M kept pronouncing that he and Silin "were married" when they were in perfect sync...so cute). M ran up and down the big sledding hill about 5 times, I did too but most of the time I was holding Silin and I was definitely out of breath by the end. Silin loved to slide and it is interesting to see that where M is timid, Silin is not, not at all. I think once her physical side catches up, she's going to be quite a daredevil....I think M is going to have to keep up with her! The thing is, and I think its very good thing, M is seeing that Silin can be a lot of fun. He doesn't know it yet, but I know that they are going to be close....in fact, right now they are both asleep in the van, just like Z and E used to do....bringing home Silin could not feel more right...its just so right and I am one very grateful Mama.........

When 4 is no longer 3+1

I kind of expected it to be a certain way for a while....it would be 3 boys and 1 girl, or 3 older(ish) kids and 1 young kid, or 3 settled kids and 1 new kid, but last night it was just 4 kids, my 4 kids, and that felt wonderful. I decided yesterday after school that I would take all the kids to Chuck E. Cheese if M would be OK with it....I would still take him on his own another day, I promised him, but there was no way to do that last night and so if he wanted to go, we were all going to go (minus working Yami , i.e. the reason I couldn't take M on his own but also the reason we could go at all) so, after piano lessons and some a nutrious snack of carrots, cheese and strawberries, I buckled up and took the plunge. Fifty dollars (steep, I know), two pizzas, and 120 tokens later, I think I can pronounce the outing a success. First, the boys were happy....they ran around, played ski ball, experienced some virtual reality rides, and came away with tickets. Second, I did not have to make or clean up dinner. Third, Silin was OK....I was really worried about all the stimulation and worried about over-stimulation. I worried about the lights and sounds, the noise, and all the other kids. All of that was fine. What I totally forgot about was Chuck E. himself. I forgot about him until he was standing next to my table and until I had a 2 yr. old monkey wrapped around my body clutching me for dear life. I told Chuck E. loudly to please leave b/c she was scared and he did (of course, it was before E could give him a punishing high-5 which made E a little upset). Silin seemed to recover quickly though the "trauma" did seem to induce her to pass out in her carseat afterwards. So far she's been sleeping all night (I've been dancing with Jetlag since 3 a.m.)......and, in fact, the 3 boys have slept through as well ....sometimes they still may be 3 +1 but not always, and as long as its not always then I know that we're headed in the right direction.....

The New Mix

Things are going well, better than I expected.  Silin slept through the night, we all had a play session in her room before bed last night, and I discovered a spontaneous "I love Silin" written on the chalkboard downstairs (I think by E).  That said, the relationship with M is still in need of more healing....he mentioned a trip to Chuck E. Cheese and I think that would do wonders for him....I'm going to leave the other kids at home and take M out for some one-on-one fun.

 

Silin and M took a bath together the other night and what do you know, she pooped in the bath....poor M.  I got him out as soon as I saw what was happening but still.  E is definitely stepping up in the big brother role and its pretty clear that Silin is enamored with all of them.

 

Today Silin had her first music class at Nini Bambini run by my friend Nina and she also had her first check-up with the pediatrician.  She loved music class and as for the doctor's, well, she didn't love that but she did fine and upon initial examination she looks great.  I received forms and containers for lab work and she will have a complete work up which I'm hopeful will reveal nothing of concern. 

.

Grateful, honestly, there is no word that better describes how I feel.  How did I get so lucky.....  I always said to God to please just keep me well and I will always try to use my life to do good, to serve, to try to live in accordance with my highest self.  To be born free and in this time, to not have to struggle just to eat, to have my health, to be blessed with family and friends, my life is rich.  I do not take this for granted.  At any moment everything could change.  But while it is this way, I intend to appreciate it and to live up to my obligation to live fully and to participate in the mending of this world, even if in only in  small ways because what I know is that small things done by many are no longer small things.....

The most interesting thing I heard in China

I've been meaning to write about this for days.....my guide in Kunming who is a 35 yr old dad of a 3 year old girl told me that in the cities they having a saying these days...."a girl is a bank and a boy is a robber." Under the one child policy, families (with few exceptions) can only have one child but he went on to explain that many families now prefer girls who "will bring them everything" because a boy, he said, takes everything. You definitely get the sense that with 2 parents and 4 grandparents taking care of 1 child, the child often gets quite spoiled. There are definitely plenty little emperors being carried around China well after the age when we'd expect kids here to walk.....and maybe the boys are more indulged then the girls. Well, I don't know how I feel about the analogy...it seems quite silly....children can be taught values and parents have an obligation to not let them think they are the center of the universe....on the other hand, if all one's hopes and dreams are placed upon one single child, I really can understand how this indulgence can happen. As much as I will always try to appreciate China, its history and its people, I'm grateful that I was born in America....a one child policy for me would have left me with a very heavy heart....

A tough evening

I'm going on the record to say that tonight was tough, really tough with Silin. She did not want to be put down while I was trying to cook dinner and she didn't want anyone else to hold her but me. She wanted to eat but not in her seat and she was very upset that she couldn't carry an open yogurt around the house. She had a few temper tantrums that didn't last too long but they were long enough. She is wonderful and I am so grateful for her but there are moments that are tough and as much as I prepared for them, when its happening its really unpleasant.

Luckily, I got to go for a very nice walk today with M and E (we pushed Silin in the stroller and thanks to E's pushing I sometimes had my hands free to hold M's hand). She said her very first real word, "doggie" which sounded like "dah-gie" and we saw many of them today on our walk. When she sees a dog she makes the cutest "woo woo woo woof" sound. She really seems to like them and was not afraid when my friend Mimi's dog, Howie, came close to her.

Tomorrow is going to be the first day that I have to pack lunches and get kids off to school with Silin home....oh, wish me luck....I'm going to need it!

Fun at home

Here they are having a little welcome-home, nice-to-meet you fun.....

Today, M is having some sad moments and I know he will adjust but its going to take time.....its his first time having to be the big brother......